We Humans are Hypocrites

Who is a Hypocrite? How does it get associated with humans? These are the two different aspects that needs to be answered before moving forward towards a broader spectrum. A hypocrite claims or pretends to be very moral and virtuous but who does not behave as such. He/she is a person who acts in contradiction to his or her beliefs or feelings. We, human Beings are hypocrites because we often tend to act against our ethics and religious beliefs that are taught from childhood for example: a child when small is strictly taught not to speak a lie and always speak the truth, but on the other hand we, ourselves ask him to lie on our own convenience. This is a very simple common example to understand and such kind of similar incidents must have taken place in each individual’s life.  Another example is an individual who is indulged into an extra marital relationship claims to be faithful. Is this not hypocrisy?

"Do the right thing" doesn't mean to do that which best serves our lustful desires. A lack of respect for the seducing nature of debauchery has led many to live hypocritical lives. In our heart of hearts, we know fully well that something is morally wrong with our actions, but we do it anyway because it feels good or is convenient. The people committing hypocritical acts normally try to use some form of rationalization to justify their actions. A man committing adultery may say that he is only breaking his wedding vows by having sex with prostitutes. The ultimate rationalization is the phrase, "I just couldn't help myself."

How many of us strictly follow the path of righteousness and do any selfless act. We teach our children all these things but do not preach them. Today, in this fast moving world, we have to keep our pace and sometimes even do things that are against our own ethics, but that does not give us the liberty to compare ourselves with other and feel jealous by seeing what’s on others plate. On the face of the person you show happiness and appreciation but behind the back you are envious and unhappy, then is it not hypocrisy.

Comparing with others we love to see them and improve our own status to rise in the society, but when it comes to adapting their behaviour, thoughts or even follow their steps towards the changes, then there comes a big full stop using tradition, religion or society as a tool. Of course one can rise according to oneself but he/ she needs to change for the betterment according to the time as change is the law of nature. The great Indian epic of Mahabharata is a prime example it where Lord Krishna lets the war take place to bring a change for the betterment of the people for a bright future.

 It is not necessary to accept all the changes because what is good for one may not be good for the other, so think twice before rejuvenating your inner self. Never shy away from truth under the protection of lame excuses of tradition and religion instead use it as a tool of strength where transformation becomes an ethical change and any good change is accepted with open arms. It is only then, when we can come above the tag of hypocrisy.

 

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TIME

TIME

What an aim of one’s life? Where does one want to reach? How much time does it take? Where to start from? Will one will be able to reach or will have to compromise and go for the second best?

These are some of the questions that haunts the mind of millions and millions of people. Reaching or not reaching the goal is the not the question here as one know that on reaching the fruit of toil will awaits us. But journey of working towards is precarious and full of doubts along with self-created obstacles. As there is no surety for one’s own achievements and the expectations of family and peers is also at the stake.

Self-doubting your own self is one the biggest barrier in the walk of accomplishment.  You can’t talk about this to others but left with only to contemplate within yourself. But the irony is this is not fruitful as one is surrounded by negative thoughts. Doing same things again and again, repeating the chorus day after day becomes monotonous and one start losing interest.

Just as you switch on the light, there comes a realisation that you need to buck-up, you cannot force let those negative thoughts overpower yourself. As your previous hard work is on stake and not only work but one’s life future is there also. Barring the expectations of others one does not want to compromise with second best. As opportunity cost is good to read and understand in economics but in real life it is difficult to apply. You sleep in the night with thought of working tomorrow and frame a plan with sub-goals to reach the main one. As the times come closer the sleep also evades and dreams are full of the goal. 

You get tired exhausted by explaining oneself again and again try & try till you succeed. It looks like walking in the cave with no path to be seen.

Life cannot stop there, doubts cannot overpower, the difficult path cannot make one weak and why only oneself, cannot let down loved ones. Yes, I may not be able to tell them all my difficulties but there support should be enough to make me stand again. The courage is within me I just have to find it, though surrounded by negative thoughts but fruit that awaits should be a tool to inspire. The mantra “I have to do it” should be repeated again and again to lighten the path.

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A Girl in the City

A Girl in the City

We are always told that each day is an opportunity to learn new things. But today I learnt nothing; it was too tedious and boring. It was a thought that flashed across the mind of an acting student who was completing her workshop at a theatre. Abhinav was her acting teacher working with the Asmara Group. They had their classes in one of the cities in Northern India. Since it was summer vacation so they had gone to Shimla in North India. She felt that there was nothing new to learn from here amongst the natural beauty. Her teacher had advised that as an actor one should observe the surroundings, the people and the nature and learn from them because that is where inspiration comes from. She knew her teacher’s wisdom never failed because Abhinav had personal experiences from other cities of challenging inspiration in the form of people, events, and a sort of invisible presence near her. But this city seemed dried of inspiration, as if the people here had lost their souls, and looked as if they do not desire anything new.

She reached the hotel where her entire group was staying and knocked on a door of the room. Abhinav opened the door. Looking at her distraught face, he immediately sensed her anguished thoughts and then asked: “how was your walk on the Mall?”

“It was no good. I wandered around but met nothing new, may be due to the fact that the place is too small. I have come after so many years, still I could not find any change to the city. Everything is the same, the same people, the same streets, the same weather and even the same events everywhere, as if the city is caught within a cycle of endless repetition.” She said while settling herself on to a sofa, situated at the centre of the room.

Her teacher came near her, and said: “you might be right, but you failed to notice one thing. You missed an important lesson. This city taught you that there are places from which you learn nothing. Be grateful to the city for teaching you this wisdom. This happens in every turn of our lives. We meet people, travel to distant places, expecting greatly from them to teach us some worthwhile lessons, but sometimes they disappoint us by communicating nothing but silence and filling us with boredom. And we curse ourselves and the decision that we had made to travel such a distance, ignoring completely the greatest lesson they teach us: therefore, be very sure that there is not a single place, not a single person that cannot teach us anything. But what we learn is completely upon ourselves, on how we learn it, and on how successfully we interpret the lesson for us.”

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A short note from me: Jyoti  Verma

“I choose to write because it's perfect for me. It's an escape, a place I can be myself. It's a lifetime friend, when I feel out casted from everyone else. It's a journal, when the only story I can tell is my own. It's a book that give me company when I need to be somewhere else. It's a control, when I feel so out of control. It's a healing when everything seems pretty messed up and you land up with all cuts and wounds. It is an energy tonic that keeps me all active and lively and strains out all that is not required to be fit and healthy. And all the more it’s fun and I enjoy it the most especially when life seems just flat-out, dull and boring.” This is a short story of one of those times.

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FRIENDSHIP

Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association and it is a fact that people with close friendships are much happier than others who are deprived of the same. A true friendship is entirely based on affection sympathy, empathy, honesty, altruism, mutual understanding and compassion. This relationship is an enjoyment of each other's company with a sense of belongingness, trust, and the ability to be able to express one's feelings etc. While there is no practical limit on what types of people can be friends, yet it is not necessary that friends may tend to share common backgrounds, occupations, or interests, and have similar characteristics.

During childhood, friendships are often based on the sharing of toys or your personal belongings and the enjoyment received from performing such activities together is an altogether a different experience for such type of friendship is basically retained through affection, sharing, and creative playtime. Adolescent friendship is mainly based on school activities and interaction, studying together, a healthy competition with each other etc. Life events such as marriage, parenthood, and accelerated career development complicates friendships in the evolution from young adulthood to middle adulthood.

Older adults prefer familiar and established relationships over new ones therefore their friendship continues in old age. With age, elders report that the friends to whom they feel closest are fewer in number as they tend to choose friends whose age, sex, race, ethnicity, and values similar to theirs. Although there is a tremendous difference between male friends, female friends, and male-female friend pairs as all share the qualities of having the potential to influence each other’s lives. If we restrict ourselves to one certain type of friendship, we may be missing out on bonds that transcend gender boundaries.

Friendship is important, even though we have blood relatives, friends are the family we choose.  Friendship is not a need, it’s not a thing and it’s an affection that unknowingly is coincidentally attached. They share all our feelings, feel happy at our success and sad on our failures and never let you feel lonely.  They are the ones who are always there, whether the times are bad or good.........standing as our moral support, even if the situation is worst. They even advice at times when we are confused or disturbed.  We can even share our darkest secret with them without them expecting anything in return. They stay with us throughout our life working as the biggest support making us feel secure. It is not necessary to have a huge entourage of friends; one single trustworthy friend is a blessing in disguise and a gift of God. Surrounded with good people always makes us a good person in return.

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Self-Analysis

Self-analysis is the key step in assessing your own self to   navigate your career. It's your ability to reflect and articulate your values, interests, abilities and personality preferences. Your responses are the criteria that you use to evaluate the pros and cons of your future.

This activity provides the opportunity to discover where a person's true interests, talents, values and abilities lie. Gathering this information it gets easier to determining a satisfying career in life. It is also helpful when creating goals and understanding one's personality.

This exercise should be done on regular basis every few months, as it can assist in determining whether you are on the right track or not. As a student self-assessment aids in the learning process for it can assist students in realizing, learning and rectifying from their past mistakes, identifying their strengths and well as weaknesses. Participating in such an exercise can help to determine what factors should be considered for improvement. ` 

To perform a self-assessment, it is necessary to ask questions that give us an honest answer to determine why a certain reaction to a situation occurred and if it was the best way to react.

Here are some things to consider that give this exercise a solid impact:

1.Distractions that keep you from special moments with special people. – Pay attention to the little things, because when you really miss someone you miss the little things the most, like just laughing together.  Go for long walks.  Indulge in great conversations. 

2.Compulsive busyness. – Schedule time every day to not be busy.  Have dedicated downtime – clear points in the day to reflect, rest, and recharge.  Don’t fool yourself; you’re not so busy that you can’t afford a few minutes of sanity. Relax and chill. Focus on the positives, and soon the negatives will be harder to see.

3.Negative thinking about your current situation. – Life is like a mirror; we get the best results only when we smile.  So talk about positive things more than your problems.  Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing.  Remember that every success requires some type of struggle and hard work to get there.

4.The desire for everything you don’t have. – No, you won’t always get exactly what you want, but remember this:  There are lots of people who will never have what you have right now.  The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for.  Happiness never comes to those who don’t appreciate what they already have.

5.Comparing yourself to everyone else. – Social comparison is the thief of happiness.  You could spend a lifetime worrying about what others have, but it wouldn’t get you anything.

6.Thinking about who you were or what you had in the past. – You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago.  You’re always growing.  Experiences don’t stop.  That’s life.

7.Worrying about the mistakes you’ve made. – It’s okay if you’ve messed up; that’s how you get wiser.  Give yourself a break.  Don’t give up.  Great things take time, and you’re getting there.  Let your mistakes be your motivation, not your excuses.  Be very sure that negative experiences from your past won’t predict your future.

8.Worrying about what everyone thinks and says about you. – Don’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal.  Rarely do people do things because of you; they do things because of them.  You honestly can change your mood swings to decide how you react and who you choose to be around.

9.Self-deception. – Your life will improve only when you take small chances.  And the first and most difficult chance you can take is to be honest with yourself.

10.A life path that doesn’t feel right. – Life is to be enjoyed, not endured.  When you truly believe in what you’re doing, it shows, and it pays.  Success in life is for those who are excited about where they are going.  It’s about walking comfortably in your own shoes, in the direction of your dreams.

11.Those who insist on using and manipulating you. – What you allow is what will continue.  Give as much as you can, but don’t allow yourself to be used.  Listen to others closely, but don’t lose your own voice in the process.

12.All the fears holding you back. – Fear is a feeling, not a fact.  The best way to gain strength and self-confidence is to do what you’re afraid to do.  Dare to change and grow.  In the end, there is only one thing that makes a dream completely impossible to achieve: Lack of action based on the fear of failure.

13.Doubting and second-guessing yourself. – When in doubt just take the next small step.  Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life.

14.People who continuously dump on your dreams. – It’s better to be lonely than allow negative people and their opinions derail you from your destiny.  Don’t let others crush your dreams.  Do just once what they say you can’t do, and you will never pay attention to their negativity again.

15.Close-minded judgments. – Open your mind before you open your mouth.  Don’t hate what you don’t know.  The mind is like a parachute; it doesn’t work when it’s closed.

16.Other people’s mistakes and oversights. – Today, be tolerant of people’s mistakes and oversights.  Sometimes good people make bad choices.  It doesn’t mean they’re bad; it simply means they are human.

17.Resentment. – Kindness is not to be mistaken for weakness, nor forgiveness for acceptance.  It’s about knowing that resentment is not on the path to happiness.  Remember, you don’t forgive people because you’re weak. You forgive them because you’re strong enough to know that people make mistakes.

18.Don’t stress too much about the future, it hasn’t arrived.  Do your best to live now and make this present moment worth living

“Attack the evil that is within yourself, rather than attacking the evil that is in others.” ― Confucius

LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE

LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE

There was a man taking a morning walk at or the beach. He saw that along with the morning tide came hundreds of starfish and when the tide receded, they were left behind and with the morning sun rays, and they would die. The tide was fresh and the starfish were alive. The man took a few steps, picked one and threw it into the water. He did that repeatedly. Right behind him there was another person who couldn't understand what this man was doing. He caught up with him and asked, "What are you doing? There are hundreds of starfish. How many can you help? What difference does it make?" This man did not reply, took two more steps, picked up another one, threw it into the water, and said, "It makes a difference to this one." What difference are we making? Big or small, it does not matter. If everyone made a small difference, we'd end up with a big difference, wouldn't we?

Moral : IT IS THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE.

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SHARING

The greatest gift we can give to ourselves and everyone around is the gift of sharing. The more people you can help to get what they want, the easier it becomes for us to get what we want.

Even children at a young age can understand different emotions and can also distinguish when someone is unhappy or hurt but they do not know how to help. Sharing with others can be difficult for children because they are only focused on themselves, but, thinking about others, their feelings and their needs is a critical social skill.

Without a second thought we should invest our energy into cultivating relationships as such associations are like a garden, the more time we spend tending and planting in the garden, the more spectacular the garden turns out to be. Our focus should be on investing our time, effort and imagination into developing and maintaining meaningful relationships for it is our sincere efforts only that shall yield good results and we shall see all the relationships flourishing and growing. 

To constantly improve the relationships in life, be committed to constantly improve and grow. Give yourself and everyone around you the gift of your ongoing personal development. When you commit to take care of yourself, you become better and you become a better, friend, business partner, employee, spouse etc.

We live in a truly abundant universe that is filled with opportunity and possibilities. Believe in yourself and the support everyone around you can and will offer you and you will have discovered the key to unlock your unlimited potential. Teach people how to treat you by showing them how you treat them. When you project an exemplary picture to the world, in which you commit to keep improving, you give freely of yourself and you help others to achieve their dreams. Exactly that will be reflected back to you and everyone around you will become part of your support system.

What are you waiting for, take the plunge today and commit to become the type of person you want the world to be. When you do, the world will seem to change and will be filled with all the right type of people. If you want the world to change, then change the only thing you have control over, change yourself and the world will change. Everything around you will change as you change. Anything you pursue will always elude you; everything you embrace will be attracted to you

Life isn’t easy, we all know that. Some of us have it even more so difficult than the rest. Joy and happiness in this situation or condition may seem as elusive as the distant horizon. It easily wearies the mind, body, and soul. But when you have been blessed with the gift of joy and happiness in your own tiny world, hasten to share it out to those who may have need of it. Perhaps a smile... a warm thought... a kind word... a helpful gesture... a prayer... or maybe just a simple hug. It may perhaps seem little and insignificant ... but to the person you are giving it to ---- it's the whole world.

Joy and happiness is contagious. All it takes is to light up the spark and sooner than you think that tiny spark bursts into a huge flame quickly warming those hearts and souls around you and everyone it reaches with its light. Give of that gift freely. Share it. You won't lack in it by passing it around. In fact, it doubles up in huge measure and becomes the blessing it was meant to be. For them..... and for you.

Happiness never gets abridged but expands with multiplier effect by sharing. Still why are people hesitant. Sharing happiness should become one's second nature, but maybe..... Some people do tend to hold back in sharing. Even in the matter of sharing happiness. It's like being scared to be turned down or rejected.... or be looked to with suspicion. This often explains their hesitation. I guess some things, even the simplest ones, have to be learned all over again because sometimes we lose it somewhere there in our life journey.

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The Youth of Today

The Youth of Today

Youth is the joy, the little bird that has broken out of the eggs and is eagerly waiting to spread out its wings in the open sky of freedom and hope. Youth is the spring of life, full of energy, creativity and opportunities to conquer them. It is a known fact that the youth of today are the leaders of tomorrow but today this can be rephrased as that, only a particular section of the today’s youth are sure to be the leaders of tomorrow. Now this is to be understood as to why should it be changed. The honest and straight-forward answer is that a majority of the youth today are spoilt having indulged into wrong habits like smoking, drinking,  drug-addiction and loitering around etc. It is rather a heart rendering sight on seeing so many youngsters languishing themselves in the dark addictions of life. This is the most prominent and disturbing phase of our life time.

Be it a small kid to any elderly person, everyone these days has an account on at least one social networking site which is a great place to catch up with old friends, or make new ones, having a dangerous side-effect of this dependency — whether knowingly or unknowingly.

Today, technology plays a major part in the lifestyle of the young generation. Sending a message to a friend who is thousands of miles away is as simple as pushing a button, direct access to unlimited storage of information takes no more effort than just a click on the laptop or a computer. Social networking such as Facebook and Friendster brings friends and family more closely together giving a huge potential to the youth to be creative and share their opinion through blogging etc. These tools are a big help in day to day living but we also have to acknowledge that it is making the youth “lazier” and “lazier”. How? One of the best example is the internet for when a student is asked to write an essay, he or she just finds it from a site, copies and then pastes its content to submit. Mostly all the resources are available in just within an easy reach, the youth hence makes no effort to do any research work or acquire knowledge from books, instead prefers to remain in the confines of their comfort zones. Exploring beyond their boundaries and capabilities seems a waste of time to him. The most alarming factor that can be perceived is the growing indifference to the responsibilities they hold in society and neglecting the big role they play in its development. They fail to realize that it is them who are the hope of the future.

           1. Opportunities :

All the opportunities are a stimulus towards competition for youngsters.  But at the same time, the youth shouldn’t lose out on their moral values. It is important to maintain that balance between sticking to one’s values along with the drive to achieve.

The future is in the hands of the youth, and so they have a lot of responsibility on their shoulders. They have to channelize this responsibility and their energies properly for its outcome is a benefit to the country and themselves too.

     2.     Freedom :

The biggest advantage that this generation has is that they have more freedom than we did. But they handle it well; it’s not misused. Meanwhile, all that the youngsters need for their own good is to take part in more outdoor physical activities, read more, rest better and avoid binging on junk food. We may run, we may hide, but we cannot ignore the responsibilities that await us in the future.

 “Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.

“Youngsters want to change world. Elders want to enjoy their works. Some wrong habits can ruin their lives completely. Though some of them can be controlled through rehabilitation, others can affect you permanently and can be a scar for life. This may lead to serious problems not only at the professional front, but, can also impact their social life.

      3.      Drinking, Smoking and Drugs :

 Alcohol, cigarettes and drugs have been the reasons behind most of the deaths among youngsters in the recent years and have constantly been on the rise. It is not rare to see a twelve or fourteen year old holding a cigarette butt and drinking away from a bottle. Large scale misuse of freedom that their parents give them is what is happening here. The youth today have taken up consuming alcohol as a status symbol. Youngsters from college, both girls and boys alike, love to attend late night parties that serve alcohol. Many cases have been registered when the youth have been caught drinking and driving too. Though many a times, they don’t even have a reason for the same but whenever they feel like drinking anytime, they gather a few friends for a good company to drink and smoke making a complete mess of their lives.

Smoking, unfortunately, is getting extremely prevalent in the youth today. Take a look around and you definitely will notice a large number of youth taking a puff out of a cigarette. The excuse given is that it works as a relaxant from stress whereas a few say that they were advised by a friend. These vices may give a momentary satisfaction, but it is only shortening their life span and moreover such bad habits are very difficult to get rid of.

If today’s youth take to smoking and consuming alcohol excessively, then there is no exception on drugs. Plenty of youngsters around the world have fallen to drug addictions and its slaveries. The biggest reason why youth are into drugs is because they enjoy it. It satisfies their mental desires in a very negative way, and helps them relax and is an easiest way to earn pocket money! The most common way for a youngster to fall prey to drugs is through friends meeting and hanging around. They see their friends consuming drugs and are enticed to consume themselves too.

     4.     Junk food:

An outrageous number of youngsters today prefer junk food from places like Mcdonalds, KFC and several other such places. It is sad that a lot of them have forgotten the essence of home-cooked food, and prefer to grab a bite out with friends more often than necessary. The youth today wish to live a fast life and feel it’s socially attractive to hang-out with friends and gossip on worthless issues.

     5.      Lacking social awareness:

Having a good sense of social surroundings is important, but plenty of youngsters lack in this field. They have a poor sense of social judgment or what is important to the society and how to live in it. Today, we can see so many untoward incidents take place for example car stunts, rash driving, school bunking, smoking, drinking etc. Many youngsters are seen constantly plugged with their ear-phones with music playing at full volumes walking in public places due to the reason they don’t hear a car honking behind them or anyone warning them of the mishappening about to take place due to their carelessness! It’s sad and absurd to not have such a strong with-hold on the society at times.

6. Money-awareness absent:

Parents work hard to earn money, and the youngsters hardly work to blow the money up. The youth of today are very demanding. They want the latest mobile, the latest laptop, they want the latest and branded fashion wear! They prefer spending high amounts of money at expensive food outlets, at bars and at unwanted parties. They spend a lot of money without realizing the value of money. Youngsters want to live a lavish lifestyle anyhow, not caring as to what it might take or cost. They tend to blow up their money on non - resourceful things. They definitely have no value for money.

7. Fb, twitter 24×7, Vibor etc.:

There is no doubt about the fact that social networking is lovely for it helps people connect in a much easier manner. But on one side where social networking is a boon, there excessive and unwanted social networking a liability?

There is a darker side of such sites too. Recently a British teenager Hannah Smith, aged 14, committed suicide because she was taunted about her weight and appearance on a website where most people known or unknown can post anonymous comments. Several users posted hate messages on her profile, asking her to "do everyone a favour and go kill yourself" and "get cancer". The insensitivity refused to cease even after news of her death spread. Many took to her profile and labelled her a "coward" for taking the extreme step. So what is it that has made teenagers today addicted to such deeds?

 It hinders your ability to develop intellect for the youth of today spend more than half their valuable time on social networking sites. They chat with friends, spend hours and hours commenting on pictures and what not. They are unable to maintain a balance between socializing and personal development, which is the most important aspect of any individuals life. This is lacking in majority of the youngsters today.

8. Pre-marital sex:

Rate of pre-marital sex is quickly growing higher and higher and even more shocking is that youngsters aged between 16 to 20 are indulging in pre-marital sex. The youth of today are obviously not well-educated in sexual matters as they need should be thus leading to higher levels of illegal abortions and other diseases. Where does this all start? A group of friends are partying at a discotheque where they consume lot of alcohol and what not, finally losing their senses being unable to get back home safe. A boy and girl often indulge in pre-marital sex when they aren’t in their senses too. They wake up next morning not knowing what happened.

9. Excessive hanging-out:

The youngsters of today aren’t serious about lifestyle. All they want is fun and frolic that excites them. Take a visit to some of the famous hangout places near your vicinity. Where spending time with friends is important, there in the 21st century youth spend hours and hours with friends discussing things that are absolutely worthless without any cause and meaning. So many young boys and girls just idle away their time, talking to friends in groups or alleys or hangout places just chilling and idling away their time.

Conclusion.

 A new generation has come of age bringing with it a lifestyle that is shaped by an unprecedented advance in technology and dramatic events both local and foreign. Because of this rapid change we can say that the older generations are finding it hard to relate to the new generation particularly with the new way of life and current trends. With the arrival of new forms of media such as cell phones, social networking and the internet, we are now in a world where the only thing constant is change.

Youth is wholly experimental and with the full utilization of the talents of the Youth, India will become a complete Nation. Let us hope for the same.

“Youth is like a fire

It crept forward.

A Spark at first

Growing into a flame

The brightening into a Blaze”.

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COURTESY

 COURTESY

Courtesy is extending respect and politeness in our attitude and behaviour towards others by actions and words for example; by holding open a door for someone or by allowing someone to speak without interrupting or by phoning ahead before visiting show how courteous we are etc. Being courteous is not just a social grace, but it also distinguishes and separates civilized people from those who think only of themselves. Courtesy costs nothing, but gives plenty! A simple courteous smile is as powerful as a please or a thank you. It takes no effort to do so, but can change the environment drastically which can make things move fast.

Gentle and polite behaviour in dealing with people is an act of civility and good manners. Courtesy is a great virtue in a man's life which demands one to be modest, tasteful and decent in his talking and behaving with others. It is a beautiful gift of treating others with warmth and respect. It means according dignity to people by being considerate, responsive, and kind in our dealings with them. To be courteous and refined makes an individual a better person which equips a higher quality life that everyone deserves. Refinement within is polishing down of our own self, casting out the coarse and vulgar by retaining the fine and elegant.

This act of refinement can be easily understood by comparing it with the process of polishing of diamonds to gain tremendous brilliance for diamonds in their raw form are not shiny at all. Similarly refinement consists of subduing the tendencies to slovenliness, crudeness, bluntness, nerviness and gaudiness, instead encourages good manners, kindness, courteousness, considerateness, propriety and gentility. The act of pursuing refinement is synonymous with being courteous and learning how to be elegant and how to be classy. A refined and courteous woman is an elegant and classy woman. By being courteous pursuing refinement and elegance, you are developing your character, heart and mind.

Refinement also helps a person of worth to be more fully recognized and appreciated. It elevates their social standing and confidence. A refined person gains considerable influence much more easily than a person with sloppy habits, despite being an awesome person. When a person pursues and values refinement, not only will they earn the approval of people around them, they will respect and appreciate themselves. A person who is sloppy, careless, blunt or rude, it may seem that he or she is confident and does not care what one thinks. In actuality, he or she may be experiencing low morale and feel inferior. Making every effort to learn how to speak correctly, how to think of others and be courteous and to engage in personal grooming to have a proper appearance

An unwillingness to help one in the time of need is the biggest discourteous behaviour one can extend to another. These well behaved courteous people are the foundation of the good society and nation, but these days the number of these type of people are limited. That is why our society is suffering a lot from ill antisocial activities.

Courteous person is liked and loved by all and therefore remain very popular among friends and relatives. “Courtesy begets courtesy” is just a gems of practical wisdom that is drummed into our ears since childhood. Courtesy costs nothing but pays a lot in return. It is because Courtesy creates great atmosphere of living with coherence. Most of the people whom we come across everyday are generally arrogant, impatient and self-cantered. They neither loves other nor are loved by any of them.

The elders, seniors and parent have to play a big role in our society and help in building nation courteous and well behaved by imparting the parameters of good behaviour and courtesy in youngster, subordinates and children respectively. Teachers have also great role to model our students on right path of courtesy. The value of courtesy must be kept at one of the top priority level in the schools. It also have a monitoring process and regulation from government side to create healthy social atmosphere.

Where on one hand we judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, there on the other side, we are adjudicated by others by what we have already done. This shows how courteous, considerate and generous we are, not only in some circumstances, but to everyone at all times. Intelligence cannot be combined with courtesy because to be courteous one need not be intelligent, even and illiterate person can be extremely courteous whereas a person with high intellect be full of arrogance and attitude. It is an old saying that very often we find a golden room in a wooden house.

We need not re-write old laws, especially the one about kind hearts are coronets because even small courtesies sweeten life. There will be many with different view than me. I appreciate them and will never say that they are wrong with a hope that they too give me that courtesy. A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds and a good deed is never lost; because he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness always gathers love.

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