SELECTION OF A SPOUSE

 Once there was a well-educated handsome and pious young man whose parents continuously emphasized him to get married. They had seen so many marriage proposals and he had turned them all down. The parents thought it was becoming a little ridiculous and suspected that he may have someone else in mind.

However every time the parents left the girls house, the young man would always say “she’s not the one!”

The young man only wanted a religious girl who was loving, caring and kind. She should have a heart to win over everyone with humility.  However one evening his mother arranged for him, to meet a girl who seemed to be a perfect package for him.

On the eve of their meeting, both the young man and girl were left alone to converse so that they could know about each other.

The young man asked the girl to speak first. The young girl asked the young man so many questions regarding his life, his education, his friends, his family, his habits, his hobbies, his lifestyle, his enjoyment, his pastime, his experiences and so on.

The young man sweetly and politely replied to all with a smile on his face. By this time the young girl had taken up nearly all of the time, over an hour and it was then when she asked the young man to ask if he had to.

The young man said that he had only three questions…

It was indeed relaxing for the girl to know that she had not to answer many queries. She took a sigh of relief and asked him to ask.

The young man’s first question: Who do you love the most in the world, someone whose love nothing would ever overcome?

She said, this is an easy question; my mother, he smiled and asked the second question. You said that you read a lot of Holy Books, could you tell me what common platform is shared by all?

Hearing this she went red and embarrassed and said that she was not aware of it but would definitely find out.

Then he asked the third question and the last question: “I have been approached for my hand in marriage, by girls that are a lot prettier than you, why should I marry you?”

Hearing this the young girl was outraged, she stormed off to her parents with fury, and said that she did not want to marry him as he had insulted her beauty and intelligence. And the young man and his parents, once again, left without an agreement of marriage.

This time, the young man’s parents were really annoyed with him. They were flabbergasted as to what had happened between them for the girl as well as the family seemed to be nice, pleasant and were religious too, the way he wanted. They wanted to know the real truth and the cause for creating such an unhealthy situation!

The young man said, firstly I asked her: who do you love the most? She answered her mother.

The parents said so, what is wrong with that??

The young man said, “no one, is a human being until he loves God and his messengers more than anyone else in the world”

If a woman loves God and his messengers more than anyone, she will definitely love me and respect me, and stay faithful to me, because of that love, and fear for God and we can share this love, because this love is greater than lust for beauty.

The young man said, then I asked, you read a lot of Holy books can you tell me me what common platform is shared by all? And she said no, because I haven’t had time to go through them properly. So I thought of that “ALL humans, are dead except for those who have knowledge” She has lived 20 years and not found ANY time, to seek knowledge, why would I marry a woman, who does not know her rights, and responsibilities, and what will she teach my children, except how to be negligent, because the woman IS the best of teachers for any child. And a woman who has no time for God, will not have time for her husband.

The third question I asked her was, that a lot of girls, prettier than her, have approached me for marriage, so why should I choose you?

That is why she stormed off, getting angry. The young man’s parents said that is a horrible thing to say, why would you do such a thing, we are going back there to apologise. The young man said I said this on purpose, to test whether she could control her anger.

Gods says that we should not get angry and have control and command on ourselves. If a woman cannot control her anger with a stranger she has just met, do you think she will be able to control it with her husband??

So, the moral of this story is that a marriage is based on:

*knowledge, not looks,

*practice, not preaching,

*Forgiveness, not anger,

*spiritual love, not lust.

*and compromise

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