EGO –A Cancer that kills all Relations

A beautiful brief story I read which touched my heart:-

 Once there was an island on which
FEELINGS lived.
One day a storm came all the Feelings were scared.
Only LOVE made a boat and invited all the Feelings to escape.
All the Feelings came to the boat but One was missing.
LOVE came down to see who it was.

It was “EGO”,
LOVE tried a lot to bring EGO on the boat but couldn’t succeed.
All the other Feelings went away,
but LOVE died because of EGO.

Ego, an island surrounded by unhappiness whose sheer existence kills the internal happiness of any person. It does not exist anywhere else except in human beings and starts growing along with the growth of the child.  The parents, the schools, colleges, university, all unknowingly help to strengthen it.  As we grow up, this ego becomes strong and hard surrounding our intelligence with its thick layer of darkness blocking all positive thoughts. It feeds on fear, doubt and pain. 

To be able to truly maintain any relation, love yourself first and bury your ego and this is undeniably essential to savour the sweet fragrance of any amazing relationship for nothing can kill or burn a relationship more quickly than your own ego. Try and avoid having our ego ruin our relationship. To overcome this negativity we should be honest and true to our own self first:-

1.Love yourself first: We’re so busy waiting for someone to love us that we’ve forgotten about the one person we need to love first—ourselves We tend to be harsh on ourselves, often because the people who were supposed to love us were unusually cruel and heartless to us. We should just leave everything and focus on our strengths, abilities, and our own admirable traits that we possess. We all possess certain qualities that we tend to overlook. Don’t concentrate on others harsh judgments and comparisons to others. Never seek for Love, just love yourself as you are special.

2. Separate your ego: If love yourself and the other person, you must separate the ego: It is a very unhealthy situation to live in isolation. We are all ego-driven to some extent or another but are not ready to accept the fact. Just acknowledge the fact for any healthy relationship all we need to separate is this artificial ego from ourselves so as to cultivate and maintain a truly amazing relationship.

3. Resist the temptation: Resist the temptation of defending and sympathising yourself:  Just ponder on the number of times you’ve fought with the other person and been forgiven because whenever any argument get a little heated we, as a human being start defending ourselves. At that particular moment it seems that you are always being attacked for no cause which makes you keep on defending yourself. Have we ever realised that when in a fight, we defend our self-what’s really happening: our ego is defending itself. Why can we simply not hear them out instead of defending our self? Can’t we just try to ease the other person off and pacify the grudges held by him or her which shall always end with a healthy note maintaining a good relation?

4. Your Ego Can Ruin Any Conversation: The truth is that no matter how much you prepare, plan and hope for a good conversation with the other concerned person, this ego is the one thing that will consistently ruin any conversation in progress if not controlled upon. If someone is frustrated with us, we react in a typical manner and avoid listening to the person who in one way or another really needs to express something. It is because to listen to somebody, it’s uncomfortable but to maintain a healthy relationship you have to hear the person out and just can’t let your ego destroy it.

5. Never complain and Just Be Grateful:  Never complain and just be grateful as complaining keeps us locked in negativity. Who wants to hang out with someone who complains all the time? No one. So why complain even to yourself? We should be grateful for what we are and whatever we possess. Look down and see there are so many others those who don’t even have what you have. Be thankful for that.

“Ego is the Ultimate Self-sabotager and be very clear - your ego is not the real you!

The more we subdue and dissolve our ego, the freer we are to experience a wonderful life”

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 A QUIZ

A small quiz to identifying if you are attached to your ego: This quiz will not be effective unless it is done with honesty.

Ask yourself -

1.  Do you think and feel that outer life needs to deliver you 'things'      in order for you to be happy?

2.  Do you struggle to take responsibility that you have created the         aspects in your life which  haven't worked?

3.  Do you blame people and situations outside of yourself when things go wrong?

4.  Do you often feel needy and try to make things happen in order to feel better?

5.  Do you have trouble accepting other people's opinions and viewpoints?

6.  Do you struggle to be vulnerable and real around other people?

7.  Do you believe your happiness is dependent on how other people see you or what you have?

8.  Do you find it difficult to encourage and grant other people compliments?

9.  Do you employ competitive behaviour and feel envious and jealous of other people that may   

      have or experience things you don't?

10. Do you fear that people who love you can hurt you or control you?

11. Do you struggle to maintain peace, harmony and co-operation with people?

12. Do you have trouble trusting people and situations - and expect people and life to act in ways

      that are 'wrong'?

13. Do you put on a front around other people so that they may like you?

14. Do you often look at life as 'what can I get' rather than 'what can I give?'

15. Do you think that you are 'on your own' in life?

16. Do you feel defensive when confronted with issues?

17. Do you judge negative things that show up in your life and have trouble understanding the 

       gift?

18. Have many of your problems been replaying the same themes?

19. Do you struggle to take responsibility with humility when you make a mistake?

  

Results

15 or over

Your ego is running your life. You will be experiencing great feelings of separation from happiness and other people. You are extremely self-critical and self-judgemental (fearing other people might see this), and have to put in a lot of work to love and embrace yourself. It is likely that you experienced a hard and painful childhood. You may have undergone many painful repeat events in your life. To amend this self-work and self-healing is fundamental. Nothing will change until you do.

10-14

Even though you may experience some 'wins' in your life it is likely that these will be transient. Your life may be a roller-coaster of feeling good then feeling extremely disappointed when life isn't delivering you what you believe it should. It is time to release your need to 'make things happen' and work on your self-healing enough to 'allow things to happen'. It is necessary for you to learn how to embrace and love yourself.

5-9

Judgement of self, life and others is blocking you from reaching your full potential. By learning how to love and accept yourself and by taking responsibility that you create every incident in your life 'as a gift' - you'll be able to improve your life.

1-4

You are human, and as such may still struggle at times with your ego. Even though you have an ability to let go and trust the processes of life, you may wish to dissolve the last pieces of your ego to truly become a divine creator of love, success and happiness.

0

If you are consistently holding this space of self-reflection and responsibility for every creation in your life - you are truly blessed with an abundance of authentic love, success and happiness. Congratulations! Share this example with others and be a shining light healing the separatism of humans to wholeness, love and oneness. The world needs people like you!

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