Self and Identity

People throughout the world are in search of their identity. Infact, they are not in search of their individuality, they are searching happiness and peace. It is only that they are not aware of the same. The characteristics of individuality are independence and self-will.

A man is beyond his mind, body and intellect. A child when born is ignorant of this fact that he/she shall one day be a separate individual! The sense of being an individual develops over the time through social interactions and then personality development. We tend to underestimate the importance of knowing our self and not knowing ourself leads to only confusion and nothing else.

When we don't know who we are and where or what we are heading towards, it's hard to set goals or get motivated or even determining the best course of action gets difficult, so it is indeed very essential to establish who we are before we are able to do anything.

To know our own self we should:

·  Be aware of your strengths, weaknesses, likes and   dislikes.

·  Observe and be aware of your moods, reactions and responses to what is happening around you.

·     Become aware of how these moods and emotions affect your state of mind.

·      Examine how you interact with others.

·     Observe how your environment affects you.

The familiarity with your own self is what to be sought and what has to be understood. A man should be aware of his real identity and by knowing it he will be able to solve most of the problems and complications of life. 

Knowing and understanding yourself better, in turn, leads to decision-making, setting and reaching appropriate goals and ultimately living more a productive life. This knowledge is unlimited by time and space and this is beyond any change.

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A VERY TOUCHING STORY

"My boss drove a luxury car everyday and it was my duty to greet him and to open the gates for him, as I worked as a watchman in his villa. But he never responded back to my greetings.

One day he saw me opening the garbage bags outside the villa in search for any leftover food. But, as usual he never even looked at me, it was like as if he never saw anything!

The very next day I saw a paper bag at the same place, but it was clean and the food inside was covered well. It was fresh and good food like someone had just brought it from the supermarket. I didn't bother as to where it came from, I just took the paper bag and I was so happy about it.

Every day I found this paper bag at the same place with fresh vegetables and all that we needed for home. This became my daily routine. I was eating and sharing this food with my wife and kids. I was wondering who this fool could be?! To forget his paper bag full of fresh food everyday.

One day there was a big problem in the villa and I was told that my boss has died. There were too many guests coming to the villa that day and I didn't get any food that day, so I thought that one of the guests must have taken it. But the same thing happened the 2nd day, the 3rd day and the 4th day.

It went on like this for a few weeks and I found it difficult to provide food for my family, so I decided to ask the wife of my boss for a raise in my salary or else I would quit my job as a watchman.

After I told her, she was shocked, and asked me, how come you never complained about your salary for the last 2 years? And why is this salary not enough for you now? I gave her so many excuses but she was never convinced!

Finally in the end, I decided to tell her the truth, I told her the entire story of the bag of groceries, and as to how it was my daily provision. She then asked me as to when this stopped? I told her after the death of her husband. And then I realized that I stopped seeing the paper bag immediately after the death of my boss. Why didn't I ever think of this before? That it was my boss who was providing this for me? I guess it was because I never thought that a person who never replied to my greetings could ever be this generous!

 His wife started to cry and I told her to please stop crying and that I'm really sorry that I asked for a raise, I didn't know that it was your husband who was providing me with the meals, I’ll remain as a watchman and be happy to provide my service.

His wife told me, I'm crying because I've finally found the 7th person my husband was giving this bag full of food. I knew my husband was giving 7 people everyday, I had already found the 6 people, and all these days I was searching for the 7th person. And today I found out.

From that day onwards, I started to receive the bag full of food again, but this time his son was bringing it to my house and giving it to my hand. But whenever I thanked him, he never replied! Just like his dad!

One day, I told him THANK YOU in a very loud voice! He replied back to me to please not be offended when he doesn't reply, because he has a hearing problem, just like his dad!”

Oh! We have been wrong so many times judging others without knowing the true story behind their actions. Be kind and courteous in dealing with others, for everyone is fighting a hard battle. Be careful, not everything is about you. Before you assume, there is this thing called ASKING.

Don’t just jump to conclusion, because that is truly not an exercise, it may cause you more harm at the end of the day. Many of our problems are caused by how we process what happens around us. Don’t judge a situation you have never been in. Be humble enough to learn. You do not know it all. Lets change the way we feel about ourselves and others.

There are two sides to a story: Don’t believe everything you hear. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about."